Why did the chicken cross the road?
TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy and implementation process. Using the Poultry Information Model (PIM), Anderson helped the chicken to use it's skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experience to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen Consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to
engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to to synergise with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focussed, and built upon a consistent, clear and unified market message aligned with chicken's mission, vision and core values. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken become more successful. We also charged it a lot of money for stating the obvious.
LOUIS FARRAKAN: The road, you see represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING Jr: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
FOX MULDER (X-files): You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road for you to believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurities.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 ( with integrated Internet Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your chequebook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, " Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather it is, "Who is crossing the road at the same time , whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken, depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: THE chicken did not cross the road.... it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?