1. Mountainbikes don't get pregnant.
2. You can ride your mountainbike any time of the month.
3. Mountainbikes don't have parents.
4. Mountainbikes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your mountainbike with your friends.
6. Mountainbikes don't care how many other mountainbikes you've ridden.
7. When riding, you and your mountainbike can arrive at the same time.
8. Mountainbikes don't care how many other mountainbikes you have.
9. Mountainbikes don't care if you look at other mountainbikes.
10. Mountainbikes don't care if you buy mountainbike magazine.
11. You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new mountainbike" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
12. If your mountainbike goes flat you can fix it.
13. If your mountainbike is to loose you can tighten it.
14. If your mountainbike is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
15. You can have a black mountainbike and bring it home to your parents.
16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your mountainbike.
17. If you say bad things to your mountainbike, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.
18. You can ride your mountainbike as long as you want and it won't get sore.
19. You can stop riding your mountainbike as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
20. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old mountainbike after you dump it.
21. Mountainbikes don't get headaches.
22. Mountainbikes don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
23. Your mountainbike never wants a night out with the other mountainbikes.
24. Mountainbikes don't care if you're late.
25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your mountainbike.
26. If your mountainbike doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.
27. You can ride your mountainbike the first time you meet it, without taking it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
28. The only protection you have to wear when riding your mountainbike is a decent helmet.
29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your mountainbike.